Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Care Packages for Miscarriage or Stillbirth

    With lots of help and donations from people who love Ellie or from people who have also experienced this type of loss, last month we were able to donate several care packages and other resources to our hospital for ladies suffering the heartache of miscarriage or stillbirth. I don't know if we'll be making any more for a while. I am keeping the Facebook page open and will keep posting things that I find helpful or comforting. I am also definitely keeping the support group open. I post there regularly and reply to everyone. There are several wonderful ladies that also post regularly. It is a great place to find and give support or to vent when you need to the most with people who understand exactly what you're going through.

    Because I'm not doing care packages right now I wanted to explain what goes into them - that way if you know someone who is hurting due to a recent loss you can let them know that you care. Or if you want to make a bunch to donate in memory of your own baby, here are some ideas for you. Include as much or as little as you can. Mama will be touched by the gesture.
    I have some business cards with Ellie's Gift's support group information that I can send to you if you want to include them in your care packages.
    If you have any question or input, you can comment below or send an email to gratias.chelsea@gmail.com.
    • Teddy bear or other stuffed animal: Something to fill their empty arms
    • Bubbles: For sending up prayers and wishes for their baby. Blowing bubbles is much more eco-friendly than balloon releases.
    • Journal & Pen: For writing thoughts and/or letters to baby.
    • Information for local (or online) support group: I'll include a list below of online resources. You can always tell them about our Facebook support group, www.facebook.com/groups/elliesgift
    • Information on the October 15th "Wave of Light." Learn more here: www.october15th.com
    • Candle: for lighting on October 15th in remembrance of their baby or for lighting any time they want to honor and remember them.
    • Forget-Me-Not seeds: For planting in a special place in memory of their baby
    • Packages of tissues

    Misc Tips
    - If it's for someone you know and you want to make it more personal, include something with their baby's name like an ornament. You can have the baby's name embroidered onto a stuffed animal or blanket. It will mean so much to them.
    - I bought stuffed animals in bulk from www.msteddybear.us
    - For bubbles, you can buy a pack of wedding bubbles from Dollar Tree. I don't remember if they are six or eight packs, but they are only a dollar each.
    - In the care packages we sent out, we included the Willow Tree figurine, "Angel's Embrace," which is something I have for Ellie. I found it in a store the day we got her ashes and I love it.
    - Include a book for parents grieving the loss of a baby such as Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg or I'll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford. There are many other titles you can find on this subject.
    - I like to acknowledge the fathers by including the book, A Guide For Fathers: When a Baby Dies by Tim Nelson or you can include a print of the poem "Dads Hurt Too."
    - If the baby has siblings, they will likely be sad and confused. Acknowledge them by including their own stuffed animal to remember their baby sibling by or for very young children you can include something like the book, We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We Had an Angel Instead, to help explain what happened.
    - You can also include a pretty print-out of a poem, quote or bible verse that you think the family will find touching. I love this one:
    Babies lost in the womb were NEVER touched by fear, they were NEVER cold,
    NEVER hungry, NEVER alone & importantly ALWAYS knew love.” - Z Clark-Coates
    - I included a letter in each care package just explaining the contents and letting them know they are not alone. If you want to see one of the letters I wrote just to get an idea of what you might want yours to say, just let me know.

    Below is the list of resources I printed out and included in each care package. I used Butterfly Footprints list and changed it a little bit.

    Pregnancy and Infant Loss
    Crisis & Counseling Hotlines

    First Candle offers 24/7 phone support
    in English and Spanish

    1-800-221-7437

    COPEline offers phone support
    (leave a message if it’s after hours and a volunteer will call you back)

    1-516-364-2673

    The Compassionate Friends

    1-877-969-0010

    US National Suicide Prevention Hotline
    offers 24/7 confidential support

    1-800-273-8255

    Online Resources & Support Groups

    www.stillbirthday.com

    www.firstcandle.org

    www.missfoundation.org

    www.compassionatefriends.org

    www.facebook.com/groups/elliesgift

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